My story is more than just a sad story of loss. It also embodies hope, joy, finding purpose where it feels as though there is none & ultimately, love. I look back on my journey & no matter how painful, it taught me so much about the power of love and resilience. Although they are no longer here physically, Madelyn and Dylan made me a Mother. They taught me all about love, courage & sacrifice. Dylan, whose own life was sacrificed for his Sister to have a chance at one. Madelyn, who took her first breath & hung on for as long as she could to allow me the privilege of getting to know her.
I yearned so deeply to be a Mother after battling infertility. The journey did not go as planned but their lives gave me hope for the future. I loved them so much that I couldn’t imagine never being able to share some of that love with their sibling one day. Madelyn & Dylan’s passing could have diminished my hopes but their LIVES fueled something deeper. I never want other women battling infertility to live in despair feeling their day of Motherhood will never come. I want everyone battling infertility and/or loss to know that there IS HOPE. I want every woman to know she is ALLOWED to advocate for herself, for her body and for her baby. I want every person who has ever had to say goodbye to their child to know that their child’s life will always be remembered & that their child has purpose in this world even after death. Madelyn & Dylan have been the passion behind my perseverance and my desire to help encourage & support other women like myself. The love I have for them is the reason why I never gave up on having a family & the reason why I never want anyone else to.
There will always be those who simply cannot understand your grief. People who have never had to know the pain of saying goodbye to their baby. The world can be an unkind place & people can lack empathy and compassion. However, we all reserve the right to share our story, to talk about our children, to be proud of them even if they are no longer here with us. We all reserve the right to say their names out loud. No parent ever has to forget, to “move on” or feel shame because we live in a world that finds discomfort in the passing of babies. We as loss parents are the ones who have to live with the pain of losing our children. We DO NOT have to hide our children from the world to appease others whose lack of understanding perpetuates cruelty. I talk about Madelyn & Dylan because I love them. I speak of my memories so that they don’t fade. I tell stories about my daughter because she lived, not because she died. I speak of my first born Son because he was so special & he was my first baby and birth experience.
But the truth is, I do not need to justify why I’ve earned the right to speak their names or share their story.
I just want to continue to be able to inspire hope. I want to be a safe space for women facing the unthinkable. I can only hope that a small fraction of OUR story inspires hope for someone else.
Thank you so much Erin, for sharing your story for other loss families to gain hope!
If you need to get in touch with Erin, or want more information on her mission, contact her by emailing nicole@theblindsided.com or desiree@theblindsided.com and we can get your messages to her!
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